Sometimes it's not pretty

Last week, I headed up for an open mic. Prior I had to amazing killer sets back to back and I suppose I got over confident. Instead of taking the material that I know works well and adding a bit here and there new, I tried to go 30% old and 70% new.

What wrong approach that was. The reason the bits that kill do well is because I’ve had the opportunity in Hamilton to do a number of sets and work them out. Coming up cold at this venue with all this new stuff was just not finding its groove. The lights were shining in my eyes and I couldn’t see anyone, and the audience was very non-responsive (not just with me but almost all the comics). Nonetheless, it was the antithesis of the week prior. 

The other part is that in Toronto, the edgy stuff is what works for me. I know I have to come up with clean material. But to be myself, is to be “out there” with crazy material. Perhaps the rest will come in time. But I got to go where my heart is with the humour, and that means either dirty or dark. That’s me folks.

The fact I couldn’t see anyone, and the quiet I got all freaked out. Why aren’t they laughing crazy like the week before? I could feel my voice cranking up higher, and the exact opposite of the theory of improv (say yes to everything) I shut down saying “No!!!!” and then it was a matter of just getting through it.

On the upside the first part of the set was working, I had them laughing.  

In the meanwhile, I signed up for improv. Besides being a very fun night out, it’s great help training the mind to not be in the mode of over thinking everything, such as preparing for a set, and being in the moment and freeing the voice that holds ourselves back saying, “no …..”

They say if you get thrown off, get right back on. This week I have three sets lined up. Ironically, I was feeling frustrated as to how the hell am I going to get a set in Toronto with so many comics that I ended up three places, including The Flying Beaver.

Needless to say is that I feel anxious to pull off another good set. So let's break a leg tonight. 

From Becoming Jewish to Woody's - Two great back-to-back nights

This last week so far has been pretty awesome! Last Monday I went to check out a room, meet the host and all that good stuff. I was not expecting nor prepared to do a set when the host asked me if I wanted to go on. I really wanted to say no, but that’s not how one get’s anywhere, so I said yes and thank you.

This particular venue works differently than the others which I’ve checked . Bring two friends and you get a spot, no booking in advanced. It’s a great way to do it. I came down alone, as I wrote, I simply wanted to see some comics and network a bit.

Fortunately for me, there were a few jokes that the host and some other comics had done that I could work off of to open. Opening is always the hardest part for me. It feels like the make or break moment.

I had to pull out my standard stuff, but worked into telling the story of my first gay crowd (that I mooned, yes that's right, but it seemed like poetic justice as I say it's the place where self-esteem goes to die) at Woody’s. This was my open mic to test out my open mic new material for the next night in Hamilton.

When I was done the host shook my hand and said he had enjoyed my set. This is when my Sally Field syndrome kicks in. I walked home stoked that I threw myself into an unscripted moment and come out the other end of it quite well.

The next day I headed over to Hamilton to my friend’s room. It’s great there as there a lot of the Hamilton comics, some of them long timers who headline, and have appeared many times on Just For Laughs. They are so down to earth, and give a lot of great feedback.

My set went really well.  I worked in my conversion to Judaism. Really, it's a testament to how dedicated I am to becoming a comic, and how attracted to Jewish men I am. I figure I'll get my ducks in a row, meet a nice Jewish boy and the conversion will all be done. And my favourite performers are Jewish, so I thought that would help me out as well. So if I seem funny after June 6 (my conversion date), you'll know why. My bit is about how it's so difficult from using "Oh for Christ's sake, and thank Christ" as a converting Jew. I'm sure Jews by birth don't go around stubbing their toes only to yell out "Jesus Christ!" I'm guest guessing they don't do that. And I accidentally said, "Thank fucking Christ." Everyone laughs at me and my slip up. "It's ok, folks I have until June 6th!" - my conversion date.

I find working off of one’s own experiences and story works the best for me. The Woody’s story was a hit, and I made my official proclamation, “I’m putting a moratorium on bending over in front of crowds.” I know it will be challenge, but I'm abstaining for at least a couple months. 

Being new, I’ll admit it, external validation is great to have. Being around great comics and being new, I have a lot of negative self-talk go on. After I had done my set one comic came up to me and shook my hand saying, “So funny, I’m sorry I haven’t listened to you before, but good stuff.” I got a couple invites to other rooms etc. I felt like I had been funny enough times now that I’ve earned my stripes to say I’m a comic, albeit a very new one, but a comic nonetheless.

The fucked up thing is that I get so nervous, and repeatedly I’m told that I appear very comfortable on stage. Somehow people can’t see the inner turmoil of pre-stage angst. Before starting this, I had no idea that my years of public speaking, media and corporate training experience would help out this much. Now if I could just get my insides to match the outside. 

Being new I feel like I'm just a small pebble on the beach compared to all there is to know and grow. At least this kind of schooling is fun!

As the one host said when I did my first real first set in Toronto as a dare for the Stephen Lewis Foundation, “You’re very natural, and that’s 50% of it right there.”

So true very true.

Cat N'Fiddle Coming up.

I’m back in Hamilton for the final night at the Cat N’ Fiddle’s open mic for this season as summer approaches.

It’s been a great place to get to know other comics and work out new comic kinks, which I’m sure will be a never ending process. I have several friends out in Hamilton who are comics, one of which has a room. The comedy community is smaller and much more accessible. And, coming from Toronto, I always find it very cool when actual strangers talk to me!

In Hamilton, I pushed myself to be “out there” by talking about my having done porn and my stint as an escort. It’s an easy salacious place to grab people’s attention and stand out. I’m still constantly shocking my mother at the age of 46, so it’s safe to say I have lot’s to draw upon for comedy. My latest mom shock was disclosing that I’m becoming Jewish (rich material there).

I may be new to comedy, but I’m not new to life. Now a former AIDS advocate, I’ve been featured (along with a couple other people) in a documentary, done tons of media work and public speaking, even worked as a corporate trainer, travelled extensively. Who knew a lot of this was great training for stand-up.

After my second set at Spirits as the fundraising dare (which killed by the way, it was more than I could have ever dreamed of as I was quite terrified to do it). When I went to a different Toronto room hosted by the same person as Spirits I totally geeked out, meaning neurotic and shy. “I can’t go up and say hi, she’s talking with the comics, I can’t interrupt. I’ve only done two sets, I don’t want to be a really needy overzealous wanna be comic.  I was completely intimidated. The really shy quiet kid in me comes out at the worst of time. 

Being in Hamilton helped me overcome some of that initial, “Ahhh what am I doing here??”

Since my gay gig at Woody’s (which ended with me mooning the crowd while taking off my bathing suit to auction off…..It’s a much longer post for another time) I’m starting to feel more confident. 

I will be though declaring a moratorium on bending over in front of crowds again in Hamilton tomorrow night.

Now I have set my sights on the Toronto scene, and I feel that geeky side coming out again. 

To counter that I’m attending as many open mics I can to get to know the rooms and start networking. When I watch comics performing, I remember that I've been on plenty of stages and I can do this. 

My First TIme

This is my first post on this obnoxiously orange Blogger template. It's just the thing you want to see when you have a hangover.

I have an extensive background in public speaking, and thank god for that. However it's a muscle I haven't used in a very long time. But handy for at least getting over the first hurdle in comedy: getting on stage. That is not to say that there is a lot to learn as this journey has only begun.

It all started with an email from the communications person from the Stephen Lewis Foundation I know. She asked if I might publicize their fundraising campaign, The Dare Campaign.  You get dared to do something and on that dare money is raised.

In this case I had to come up with my own, and as it turned out quickly. An acquaintance from The Toronto Sun, I know, great journalistic stuff. He wanted to do a full page interview on the dare I was going to do. The catch is that I didn't know what I wanted to do. If I was really going to do this, I had to do it.

My choices I gave myself were either doing stand up or jumping out of a plain. First I'm scared to death of heights, and to frank, if I'm going to shit myself I'm doing to do it with my feet firmly set on terra firma. Plus it costs close to 300 bucks. I know I'm a great humanitarian for raising money, but I'm not going to spend my own to do it.

Very quickly, and all thanks to the wonderful host of Spirits Open Mic (as well as Eton Place) who within a few moments of messaging on Facebook booked me a spot of my choosing for the next month. For anyone who know's Spirits, it takes a couple months to get booked.

My stomach sank. This was real now. Just like with porn, (something I'd watch, but wonder what it's like to do, and could never see myself doing it, and then flew off to San Fran to shot a pro film) I found myself in the same position, just this time I get to keep my clothes. I think everyone is thankful for that, as a former exhibitionist, I like to stay dressed, whenever possible.

That is the backdrop. The very first night I had no idea that the venue's owner wanted more clean humour and was getting pissed off with the comics. The comics all met before the show and decided they were going to try to kill the show. I had no idea of any of this back story.

When I get up on stage, the ultimate fear happened: mind going blank. I grabbed the mic and explained I had done a lot of public speaking and never was able to swear on a mic. Then I just started laying it out from shit to cunt. It was rather cathartic after all those years of having to repress what I wanted to say. The more I went on, the more I had the crowd.

First time up, and hell why not, let's talk about doing gay porn. The funny bit is that I have to explain what kind of porn I did, it's just understood.  The punch line, "It's just like doing straight porn except half the cast faces the other way." went over quite well.

I was so nervous about that. Talking about doing gay porn to a very straight Hamilton crowd. They turned out to be very very cool and a lot of fun.

The night finished with one of the comics telling a very annoying heckling couple interrupting all night to go fuck themselves resulting in the owner running up and cutting off the mic with the declaration: THE SHOW IS OVER.

And that was my first night. I had them laughing, and I became officially addicted.